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The Jesuses/New Villains in Town
"New Villains in Town" is the twentieth episode of the third season of The Jesuses. Synopsis The Jesuses meet the cats of Slash's group, and try to defeat Slash, who wants to steal all the food for himself, and who is kidnapping others and keeping them hostage. Transcript (Jesus Two walks into the apartment. The TV is gone. So are all the other Jesuses except One. One is just standing there.) Jesus Two: What did you do with the TV? Jesus One: I destroyed it! (Laugh track plays.) Jesus Two: Well now you can't watch Fat Dog Mendoza, so you played yourself there. Jesus One: Haha, yeah. Wanna go buy a new one? Jesus Two: ...with what money? Actually, can't God materialize a new one for us free of charge? Jesus One: Uh, I guess. Jesus Two: Where did everyone else go? Did you destroy them, too? Jesus One: Oh, no. They went somewhere. Probably. Wanna go for a walk? Jesus Two: Fine. (One and Two are walking down a street.) Jesus One: Boy gee, I hope we don't run into any evil cats today. Jesus Two: Dude, are you okay? You're even more neurotic than usual. (A sleek, lean, scarred jet-black she-cat with nicked ear-tips, a short tail squared at the end, knotted fur, and green eyes jumps out of the bush near them) Jesus One: Who are you? Are you an evil cat? ???: No! Names Fern, and I'm here to warn you about Slash. Jesus Two: Slash? Who's Slash? Fern: Slash is a mangy, broad-shouldered brown tabby tom with torn ears that are nicked at the top, a scarred muzzle, and front legs marked with a slash of white fur. His fur is crisscrossed with scars, and half of his whiskers are missing. He's out to steal all the food here, so watch out! Jesus Two: You jinxed us! And thanks for warning us Fern! Fern: No problem, whoever you are. Jesus Two: Oh, I'm Jesus Two, and the one who jinxed us is Jesus One. Jesus One: Hewwo. Fern: Ok, I just need to warn you about a few more cats. You should keep an eye on these cats: a striped yellow-and-black she-cat named Bee, a black-and-brown tom named Beetle, an orange tom named Ember, a small, wiry, broad-shouldered, matted, brown tabby tom with yellow eyes named Snake, a black-and-white tom named Splinter, and an orange tabby she-cat with amber eyes named Swallow. Jesus Two: Thanks for warning us even more. Fern: Well, I have to go before Slash finds me. (Fern hides back in the bush.) Jesus Two: Okay, what on earth is going on? Did you do this, One? Jesus One: No? Jesus Two: ... Jesus One: Hey, wanna go to the IHOP? That's where I hid the TV. Jesus Two: But you said you destroyed it. Jesus One: I lied, haha. Jesus Two: One, where are the others? You know, don't you? Jesus One: I didn't lie about that. (Silence.) Jesus Two: Can we go home? I don't want to run into any of those evil cats. Jesus One: Okay, after we pick up the TV. Jesus Two: Are the others at IHOP as well? Jesus One: I don't know. (It cuts to the two Jesuses walking into IHOP. They see the 4 other Jesuses huddled in a corner with pots and pans.) Jesus Two: Hey whats going on- (The see the cats that Fern described trashing the place and taking all the food.) Jesus Two: Oh. Slash: Take their eyeballs. Jesus One: Hey, is that Slash? Slash: Yes I am, and these are Bee, Beetle, Ember, Snake, Splinter And Swallow. (Bee, Ember And Snake step over to Jesus One and Two, while Beetle, Splinter and Swallow go over to the other Jesuse.) (God comes from the Heavens.) God: Shoo kitties! Bee: Make us. Beetle: On my tail I will! Ember: Never! Snake: We’ll destroy this place and take every bit of food! Splinter: And make all of you starve. Swallow: Try us. We won’t leave. (God sents a bolt of thunder down. The cats get scared at run away, taking all the food they can.) Category:The Jesuses